Writer. Sex worker. Erotic connoisseur. UCLA alum. MFA. INFP. More about me: my.bio/mysteriouswitt. Treat my body and mind to a coffee: ko-fi.com/mysteriouswitt

They might see your sexual awakening as “dirty” instead of groundbreaking.

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What do I mean when I say that there’s a “hazard” to exploring your sexuality with your “vanilla” friends? I don’t mean that this is dangerous in any way — just problematic.

How? Let me explain.

First off, I should define what I mean by “vanilla.” For me, vanilla signifies those people who don’t work in the sex industry and/or have never explored their sexuality in an alternative way.

I have. I’ve worked in all areas of the sex industry, and have journeyed to the outer limits of my comfort zone when it comes to my sexuality.

This doesn’t make me a better or more “authentic” person. On the contrary — I don’t think that everyone should do sex work or even explore unconventional forms of sex. …

The negative elements of the sex industry shouldn’t be an excuse to deny us the right to work.

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The sex industry is the only industry I can think of where workers have to justify our right to do our jobs with claims that we always love our work and always feel empowered by it. If we’re honest about any of the more negative aspects of our jobs, it’s akin to admitting that we’re being victimized and in need of rescuing.

In come the politicians to sign into law new bills that further constrain our ability to make a living. Take FOSTA/SESTA that shut down the online platforms sex workers once used to advertise our services and screen clients. This bill was supposed to protect sex workers like me, keep us safe from the men who sought to “disrespect” us by paying us for sex. …

Reason #2: they haven’t yet accepted it’s okay to pay for sex.

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The idea that escorts, if given the choice, would rather have sex with a much older man than a young, good-looking buck is bizarre to many. Why wouldn’t a sex worker prefer to get down with a cute dude in his twenties, if given the option, especially if she knew she was also going to get paid for it? Seems like the perfect job, right?


Sure, as an escort, I’ve had sex with some seriously gorgeous young men in my day. …

We can end this violence by ending the stigma and criminalization of sex work.

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The International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers was on December 17th. Alas, I write about this two days late because as a sex worker attempting to retire, I’m scrambling to find another means of bringing in income to support my two children. So forgive me for my lateness in writing about this important event.

What is the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers?

The International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers was founded by Dr. Annie Sprinkle and the Sex Workers Outreach Project USA (SWOP-USA) in 2003 as a memorial to the victims of the Green River Killer, many of whom were sex workers.

Jenny Graham, the sister of one of the killer’s victims, told Seattle Magazine. “The girls were being blamed for their deaths.” …

Mine reminds me of the great sex I’ve just had.

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If you do a quick search on Google about sore vaginas, every article you’ll find is about how to relieve it. Itching, burning, and irritation. Causes and treatments. How to stop experiencing vaginal discomfort during and after sex.

What no one writes about is how it’s possible to like the feeling of soreness in one’s vagina. In my case, I enjoy a particularly sweet post-coitus ache. I did this search because I was sure there must be other women out there who felt the same way.

I was hoping to find something written by one of them. I wanted to pore over tales from other women expressing their similar satisfaction and even pleasure in the sense that one’s vagina has been, ahem, used well. …

I don’t disrespect them, but I do sometimes feel sorry for them.

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I’m writing about my feelings toward my clients’ wives, not because I believe a lot of people will agree with me. I know that many would prefer to assume that just because I’m an escort who has sex with married men, I must hate my clients’ wives. Nothing could be further from the truth. I not only don’t hate the wives and girlfriends of my clients but I respect them. Most importantly, I refuse to become involved in any play that belittles them.

Having been married myself, I understand how difficult marriage is. I feel compassion toward my clients about the difficulties of marriage. But I also feel sympathy for the wives and girlfriends of these men who for, whatever reason, have become disinterested in sex. Yes, this is the most frequent reason married men book me for sex — because their wives no longer want to have sex with them. …

Please respect our time and expertise as WRITERS.

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Women sex writers are by definition women who write about sex. Seems like a simple definition, but you’d be amazed by how many people conflate our job with other things.

Confusion about what our job entails leads some to believe that just because we write about sex, we also want to have sex with our readership. Or that we want to talk about sex privately with our readers or even consult on our readers’ personal sex lives and relationships through private chats.

We don’t. We’re writers. That’s our job — nothing more, nothing less.

With this in mind, here are some of the wrong ways to approach women sex writers online and some of the right ways.

What if this is how they stay married?

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Cheating is never a good thing. I’m not here to say that sleeping with another person behind your spouse’s back is okay. It’s not. It’s a screwed-up thing to do. And yet, I think in some cases it’s justified.

Take the married clients who pay me for sex because they’re in sexless marriages. They sleep in dead bedrooms — that’s if their wives even still sleep in the same bed with them. They’ve often been living in this situation for years — ten, twenty. They’re married but celibate.

I don’t want to downplay just how important sex is in a marriage. Sex keeps a couple connected. It builds intimacy and is an antidote to contempt. It helps couples stay compassionate to one another’s needs. …

Yes, even when you’re having sex with your partner.

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Our fantasy life is one thing we should never judge. We should never police our minds. We should be able to think about whatever we want when it comes to sex.

I’m not saying we should act on every fantasy. I’m just saying our fantasy world is one place where everyone should always feel free.

But what happens when this includes fantasizing about having sex with other people when we’re in a relationship? And what if we fantasize about this while we’re having sex with our partner?

Is it wrong to imagine having sex with someone else while we’re getting down with our significant other? Is it disrespectful? Does it mean we don’t love our partner? …

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