But it’s been worth it, so thanks for coming along on this journey.

Dear readers,

Thank you for following me. I am truly grateful for your reads. I’m also grateful for what writing here on Medium has helped me do. It’s helped me grow emotionally — and as a writer.

And you, by following me, have helped with this process. So thank you.

I haven’t written much here this month because I’ve been finishing up some paid writing gigs elsewhere under my “sort of” real name. It’s a long story, but I’ve stopped using my real name altogether for any type of writing. …


They destroy the belief they’re too “fragile” or aren’t “hot enough” to do dominatrix work while pregnant.

Meet Empress Ming. She is stunning in her sheer mesh costume, towering confidently in her thigh-high, platform boots over the men who bow at her feet. She wields a cat-o-nine-tails and yet with the way her soft belly rounds out prominently, it’s undeniable that she’s pregnant.

And she’s just as alluring as any professional dominatrix who isn’t.

Empress Ming, an Atlanta, Georgia-based dominatrix, is among a number of current pro-dommes who are refusing to stop working through their pregnancies. Sure, this might be the expectation of many. The assumption is that women are fragile when they’re pregnant. A dominatrix couldn’t…


At least I know what my son’s going through, so I can help him.

My ten-year-old son, Gabriel, was the first one to voice it. “I have a computer addiction, Mama.” He brought it up — no prompting. “I love my computer, but now I need it too much.”

He said this to me with tears in his eyes just a few days ago. It’s been over a year since our lives turned upside-down due to the coronavirus outbreak.

Didn’t I know this would happen?

Yes, it saddened me to hear my son say this but does it surprise me? No.

What does surprise me is that my son is so aware of his…


I was just looking for love.

When I was in high school, I was painfully shy and awkward. I was tall and gangly, not sexy at all. The self-assured woman you see in my Instagram feed is not the woman I was when I was younger. I was introverted and introspective in a world of shallow extroverts.

Still, when I finally graduated high school, I was excited to go to college. I saw it as a chance to reinvent myself. I was thrilled when I was accepted into the University of California, Los Angeles. …


I learned it was impossible to keep my job and personal life separated if I was working in my home.

“Who’s that?” my client Gus cried in terror as the pounding erupted against the front door of my house. We were in the living room, and he was naked on the couch, his penis fully erect.

I had been giving him a handjob when the banging on my front door started. Who was it? The police?

My kids.

My two sons were outside the house with their father — my ex-husband who no longer lived with us. But my sons did and they were who was knocking. I could hear their voices.

They were seven and nine years old and…


By using it to reclaim my sexuality and become financially independent.

Traditionally sugar dating involves a wealthy, older man dating a much younger woman, who is lacking in financial resources. The man, known as a sugar daddy, provides the younger woman, known as a sugar baby, with money in exchange for meeting with him romantically.

Oftentimes this means the sugar daddy will pay the sugar baby’s rent or even set her up in a nice apartment. He will buy her expensive gifts — even cars. Think of the way Donald Sterling, the former owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, treated V. …


I’ve realized it’s okay to feel conflicted about my job.

Years ago, when I first started working as a dominatrix, I had a friend who really wanted to break into the industry. Her name was Kate, and I thought she was a good candidate to become a domme because she was very sexual and also quite bossy.

Her skin was pale, and her body was crazily curvaceous. Thick, red hair cascaded down her back. We went together to a fetish store to buy her an outfit. She filled out her bodice and latex panties beautifully.

On my end, I thought I was paying back the favor I’d received when my…


It’s the ethical thing to do but most married partners would never allow it.

Meet Partners A and B. They’re in a monogamous relationship. However, Partner A no longer wants to have sex with Partner B.

They’re married and Partner A does not want to divorce Partner B. Nevertheless, Partner A is tired of Partner B pestering them for sex.

What’s the solution? There are several.

Solution #1: Partners A and B can continue to live together in this impasse, which will lead to more marital strife and misery.

Solution #2: Partner B can cheat on Partner A with another person. This is the most typical choice.

If Partner A finds out, this will…


I used to be afraid of my own sexuality. Spreading my legs wide during sex meant accepting myself.

Believe it or not, but once upon a time, I was terribly afraid of sex. As a younger woman, I couldn’t relax my body while a man was penetrating me.

The truth was, I felt like I was a “bad girl” for being sexual. Yes, I blame this on my shame-filled childhood.

My parents were the type of people who never talked about sex. They said I shouldn’t have sex until I got married, and literally took showers after they’d been intimate.

I knew this because, every Saturday night, they’d close their bedroom door. A half-hour later, the shower would…


I’m not going to participate in your racism

I recently received an email from a reader asking me to rank men’s penis sizes by their race. As a sex worker, this reader wrote, I must have a lot of sexual experience with men of different ethnicities.

This reader lived in Eastern Europe where he confessed there “aren’t many Asians or Black people.” However, he did have a female friend who’d had sexual experiences with men of both races and could attest that Black men’s penises were much larger than white men’s penises and that Asian men’s were much smaller.

Surely, as a sex worker, I must have come…

Mysterious Witt

Writer. Model. Mom. RETIRED dominatrix, escort, cam girl & phone sex operator writing about my experiences. MFA. INFP. ko-fi: mysteriouswitt

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