The term toxic masculinity gets bandied around a lot these days — and for good reason. From fuckboys who mansplain our thoughts to us, to men who manspread their thighs so wide apart in public, they violate our personal space. Toxic masculinity is real and many women have had bad experiences with it.
In its least negative form, we’re just being talked over by a man. In its worst, we’re being raped. Toxic masculinity is an intrinsic threat to women everywhere, and not just in our public lives but private lives, too.
Even if we consent to go to bed…
I met Zachary in the wake of leaving my first and only marriage. He was handsome, charming, and swept me off my feet. Sure, I knew there was something dangerous about him. I sensed it on our second date when he asked me to go to a swingers club with him.
Wow, that caught me off guard. He hadn’t written anything about that interest in his dating profile. Not that I was against swingers but I was taken aback.
When I told him I wanted to get to know him alone first before we ventured into swinger-dom, he launched into…
It’s been a hell of a couple of weeks for me. But before we get into that, let’s talk about National Orgasm Day. This special day is upon us on July 31st. In commemoration of this holiday, I’d like to remind you of several articles I wrote about orgasms:
Yes, as an Escort, I Orgasm With My Clients: Sex workers can actually experience pleasure on the job.
Why Women Should Bring a Vibrator Along on Every Date: If a woman is going to get down, she deserves to always get off.
I’ve always loved kissing. When I was younger and going out to a lot of clubs, I’d often find a guy to make out with on the dance floor and we’d kiss the whole night. Kissing was something I could do with just about anyone and not feel guilty about it. No, I wasn’t a slut if I was just kissing a guy.
And yet swapping spit with a dude I’d just met was still incredibly arousing. I’d become wet just with the act. But how intimate was the experience if we weren’t having sex?
We weren’t even heavy petting…
Every morning, while the coffee was still percolating, I ducked into my husband’s home office to hop on his computer to check my email. I did this before he got up. I did it before everyone got up — our two children included.
One morning, I received a surprise. When I flipped up my husband’s laptop, a chat window was open on the screen. Someone named Kristi had written: “Hey, babe, u avail?”
I was stunned by the sight of this chat. Still, I didn’t immediately think my husband was cheating. My initial inclination was to believe “Kristi” was…
Hunter told me to take a seat on the couch while he finished up in the kitchen. He’d invited me to dinner at his studio apartment for our second date. It boded well that his bed was the centerpiece of the room. After all, the main reason I’d showed up for this meal was to have sex with him.
Little did I know, he wasn’t interested in getting down. And so I learned that every man doesn’t want to have sex with me.
Men aren’t always up for sex with every woman.
But if this is true, it’s also true…
It’s hard to remember exactly how our sexless marriage began. It simply evolved. One argument led to another until my husband and I hardly spoke anymore. Suddenly we were no longer having sex. Our bedroom was dead.
Previous to this point, whenever we argued, at least we’d always make up afterward. Often that involved having sex.
But after a certain point — after years of arguing — we stopped even doing that. Instead, after a spate of intense bickering, I’d go to sleep by myself in the guest room.
The following day my husband and I wouldn’t even discuss our…
Recently, while at a sex club I frequent with my boyfriend, I watched a noteworthy scene between a woman and her man. This woman watched lovingly as her partner had sex with another woman.
The scene began with the man bending over to lick the vulva of the other woman. When he moved to rim her butt, his partner got behind him and licked his ass, too.
Then his lady stood back as he switched the other woman onto all fours and proceeded to thrust into her vigorously, doggy-style. The female partner rushed off to fetch him a towel to…
This past Saturday night, my boyfriend and I went to our first sex club in fifteen months. This is an on-premise club where only couples and single women are permitted entry. For all intents and purposes, it’s a swingers club. I call it a sex club because of the sex that happens there.
There’s a dance floor on the ground floor. The real action occurs in the basement. Couples make love on giant beds while other people watch.
Threesomes and foursomes take place in the darkened, underground room. Sometimes people even get orgasmic in a group.
Feminine heads bob up…
Thank you for following me. I am truly grateful for your reads. I’m also grateful for what writing here on Medium has helped me do. It’s helped me grow emotionally — and as a writer.
And you, by following me, have helped with this process. So thank you.
I haven’t written much here this month because I’ve been finishing up some paid writing gigs elsewhere under my “sort of” real name. It’s a long story, but I’ve stopped using my real name altogether for any type of writing. …
Writer. Model. Mom. Retired dominatrix, escort, cam girl & phone sex operator. MFA in Creative Writing. B.A. in History from UCLA. INFP.